Even now, when others talk about their school days. It really does freak me out. And I'll tell you truthfully why. I never did like school. Most of the teachers were OK. But I just hated the other kids. I was always bullied at school. Every week was always the same. They did some terrible things to me. And this I can't forget. Especially when you had the bullying, going into the weekends as well. And all this went on for years and years. Decades and decades.
I really don't know how some people can cope with school today. It must be a vicious place to grow up. The playgrounds must be boxing rings. And the verbal put-downs I got were shocking, to say the least. Yet somehow we go on through life. Even beyond all those terrible moments. Many things become impossible to memorize, from past events. We are all unrecognisable, to one another. In some ways we are. In others we're not.
And sometimes, we cannot go back home. The only way is forwards. Even if times get too complicated, to go onwards and forwards alone. We must persevere with only our true broken hearts, as our nearest companions. We can no longer move on, unless we are left alone to do so. Without others intruding or interfering. No help can be found, unless we do things for ourselves. If we are lonely. Do we stay lonely for all eternity? We cannot break certain cycles. Especially if we are misfitted souls. Those square pegs in the round holes.
And YES! I still hate school today. Well, the thought of it anyway. That is why I hate being near children or teens. It reminds one of a terrible moment in my life. A moment that I'd rather forget thankyou. It seems to stick out like a sore thumb. A rejected and neglected soul, that cannot fit in anywhere.
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